Through the Looking Glass

Today I have felt as though I fell through the looking glass with Alice.
Tired, emotional and teary seemingly without reason. A planned 10 minute nap turned into a two hour hibernation complete with the guilt that I should have been doing more purposeful things.
As mentioned in  my last post I have begun needling sessions, three in total, with great success. The last being Thursday night. My movement is still limited but improved and best of all maintaining gains in range. I am not sure how to describe the sensation of needling other than odd and weird. It's like being a voodoo doll in reverse, with good being practiced instead of bad.
Today I had a Physio session and as well as walking away feeling as though I had been beaten up I felt emotionally drained as well. Body and mind are so strangely interwoven and today I was acutely aware of this. We discussed final timelines and plans for my shoulder, and also plans for CrossFit training. So why with positive action and direction was I feeling this way? A friend said she feels "the body needs time to "integrate the changes made, whether they be chiropractic, massage, acupuncture etc" perfect sense really and a reminder to listen more closely to my body.
So where to now? Plan of action is to ease back into training 2 to 3 times a week, having recovery days in-between  Return to Physio in a fortnight after another needling session focusing on supraspinatus, which reacted strongly last session. Then with my Physio away for 6 weeks lecturing, teaching and consulting overseas, I will have lots of homework, stretching and mobility. On his return we will make a decision together as to our next move, if I have not improved or if I have plateaued we will look at an MRI and then referral for hydrodilatation treatment.

So like Alice going out to the garden and being shocked to find the paths don't work as she expected. That they twist and turn "more like a corkscrew than a path!" That the paths don't lead in the direction she wants to go, and she spends a long time getting turned around, but always ending back at the house.It's scary enough not being able to anticipate how things will go, but being constantly blind-sided by chaos and frustration sends me down my own corkscrewing path. So my journey like Alice's twists and turns along as I prepare to face my own personal Jabberwocky. 

Twists and Turns

Well this has certainly turned into a CHALLENGE.
A challenge of motivation
A challenge of priority
A challenge of self
It is already week four of the six week challenge and as seems to be my life is strewn with twists, turns and unexpected events.
I began feeling uplifted and positive that this would be a journey back to where I desired to be. Regaining lost strength and fitness. Sure I knew it would not be easy but never did I foresee the difficulties ahead.
When I began the challenge I was on holidays and my shoulder issues ( restrictive adhesive capsulitis ) seemed to be improving, slowly but improving. But then I returned to work which brought with it a return to pain, broken sleep and the depleted movement I had degenerating further. So no cross-fit for a fortnight, granted I did ride my bike , so much that I thought I should start wearing lycra and hangout in coffee shops along the way.
Slowly self pity crept in and the old woe is me attitude returned. I was scheduled to see my Physio at the end of that fortnight. He confirmed what I feared my progress had gone backwards but also helped me to understand why this had happened. As with most things in hindsight it could have been avoided to some extent but again no use focusing on could have, should have insights. Time again to restart and try some different approaches.
In among all this we had the torrential rain and flooding that brought back memories of the floods two years ago. Whilst we suffered none of the devastation that others are enduring it was a worrying time as we sandbagged and hoped for the best. Thankfully the water though coming within metres of our home caused minor problems, and this was due to the storm not the rising waters. Others we know were not so lucky with homes and yards being inundated and now facing both the cleanup and red-tape of insurance claims.

looking up our street 

Well this is a very negative post. Is there anything at all positive at all ?                                                            If you had posed this question at the beginning of the week I would have said a resounding NO ! But after some reflection , there are lots of positives : I have kept my commitment to keep Sonja updated with my treatment so she in turn can assist and modify my workouts accordingly. 
I have kept my commitment to eat healthily and have been more aware of my portion sizes.
I am lucky to live where I do and have access to great bike trails ~ riding along the waterfront is actually quite enjoyable.
Dry needling of my shoulder seems to have helped and range of movement is creeping back up.
I have returned to cross fit and it feels great, I am fortunate to have supportive trainers and community at Cross Fit Desire.
For the first time in a long while I have slept a full night without waking with pain.
So what now? I made a statement earlier this week that I think I need a six month challenge and I have come to the realization that this throw away line is actually the truth. Reality is that until my shoulder is rehabilitated fully there will be lots of twists and turns, ups and downs. My focus now is to keep going, there will be more setbacks but throwing in the towel is not an option. There is light at the end of the tunnel the road is just longer than anticipated.